A few weeks ago, I thought I had found a flat for us in Swarzedz. It was a little smaller than ours but the same price. It had an elevator with a few steps up to it and on the fourth floor. We looked at it and thought it would be suitable, even a little outside of Poznan A big plus was that we could use our own furniture. That all changed this week and now I am once again looking for a flat. This is getting so frustrating. Getting Joan up the stairs to our flat was not possible by myself.
There is just too much going on with me now. Besides taking care of Joan 24/7, I search for unfurnished apartments every day with no result so far, the weekly shopping early in the morning, the almost impossible task of getting Joan up and down the stairs to a doctor, paying bills, and trying to maintain my own health. I have found no organization to get help from.
On the bright side....I have the love of my life.
Kilka tygodni temu wydawało mi się, że znalazłem dla nas mieszkanie w Swarzędzu. Było trochę mniejsze od naszego, ale w tej samej cenie. Miało windę, do której prowadziło kilka schodów i znajdowało się na czwartym piętrze. Obejrzeliśmy je i pomyśleliśmy, że będzie odpowiednie, nawet trochę poza Poznaniem. Dużym plusem było to, że mogliśmy wykorzystać własne meble. To wszystko zmieniło się w tym tygodniu i teraz znowu szukam mieszkania. To się robi takie frustrujące. Moja pomoc, by Joan weszła po schodach do naszego mieszkania stała się niemożliwa.
Po prostu za dużo się teraz ze mną dzieje. Poza opieką nad Joan 24/7, codziennie szukam nieumeblowanych mieszkań - bez rezultatu, cotygodniowe zakupy wcześnie rano, prawie niemożliwe zadanie wniesienia i zniesienia Joan po schodach do lekarza, płacenie rachunków i próba utrzymania własnego zdrowia. Nie znalazłem żadnej organizacji, od której mógłbym uzyskać pomoc.
Z pozytywnej strony.... Mam miłość mojego życia.
Hace unas semanas, pensé que había encontrado un piso para nosotros en Swarzedz. Era un poco más pequeño que el nuestro pero el mismo precio. Tenía un ascensor con unos cuantos escalones para subir y en el cuarto piso. Lo miramos y pensamos que sería adecuado, incluso un poco fuera de Poznan Una gran ventaja era que podíamos usar nuestros propios muebles. Todo esto ha cambiado esta semana y ahora estoy de nuevo buscando un piso. Esto se está volviendo muy frustrante. Llevar a Joan por las escaleras hasta nuestro piso no fue posible por mí misma.
Ahora tengo demasiadas cosas que hacer. Además de cuidar a Joan las 24 horas del día, busco pisos sin amueblar todos los días sin resultado hasta ahora, la compra semanal a primera hora de la mañana, la tarea casi imposible de subir y bajar a Joan por las escaleras para ir al médico, pagar las facturas e intentar mantener mi propia salud. No he encontrado ninguna organización a la que pedir ayuda.
El lado positivo es que .... tengo al amor de mi vida.
This is hard to say but your plans should keep the love of your life foremost in mind. In troubled, twilight years, a mother should also be close to her daughter both emotionally and physically. You would still be with her but she (and you) would also have the emotional and physical support of caring family, which is not the case now. This would require great personal sacrifice on you part. Unless there are extreme obstacles that you can't overcome, your changed circumstances require changed plans.
ReplyDeleteI believe David addressed this earlier. He said that they wouldn’t have health insurance if they went back to the States. I wonder, though, if they’d be able to get Medicaid or Medicare.
DeleteDavid, my heart goes out to you. This is a very, very difficult situation you're in at the moment. My thoughts - could you possibly return to the US and seek the help of 1) medicare 2) your & Joan's family. Being alone in this situation is unbearable.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes from Ella in Canada
Dave, it may be time to think about returning home, its time Joans daughter took responsibility for you both, respite care in Poland is patchy and very expensive, getting emergency help is difficult.. Trump is gone and you now have the best President in US history, please consider
ReplyDeleteDavid,
ReplyDeleteThe commenters above make valid points - time to rethink your situation. Back in the US, you'll have family support and (I know from experience with my MIL who suffered a stroke) medical care, even if you are not on Medicare.
However, if you insist on staying in Poland (and you have a stubborn streak, I noticed ;-), why not rent a furnished place that is most convenient for you? Who cares about furniture (you can easily sell it) when your sanity and the health of both of you are on stake?!
Yeah, David,
ReplyDeleteI feel for you both and feel a need to weigh in here in agreement with the other posters.
I actually suggested this before-- forget the "unfurnished/furnished" debate and flex to the reality of what is facing you (and what you are facing). This in response to your desire to stay in PL.
But, returning to the U.S.-- not for any political reasons-- but, for being near your family members mainly due to Joan's state, and your healthy not being up to par either. You're not getting younger either.
Hard words, difficult choices, but sent with heartfelt support and hope for you!
~Ess
Folks, David must ultimately decide best options, all of us will face similar fate someday, just a few observations, locked in a cage on the forth floor of a building is not healthy, some would call it elderly abuse, Joan needs good fresh air, able to see nature and people, she needs to have a medical shower, toilet and safe environs.. oh and of course proper healthy meals..normally a family member assist, but for whatever reason this is not always possible. Packing up and giving household items to charity and returning to the states is obviously an option, it may however be the start of new problems... good luck Bro
ReplyDeleteThe first reply is a hope...If you see other Anonymous posts before you comment lease put some identifier to it, like..Anonymous 2 or 3 or 4. It would make replying to you easier.
ReplyDeleteAll of you have valid points for returning to the U.S. However, that is and has not been Joan's wish, now or before she became so ill. I agree it would be better to be physically closer to our family there. That has always been a regret of ours. Neither Medicare nor Medicaid would provide the kind of healthcare Joan's needs without putting us in debt. Your system is ridiculously priced.
ReplyDeleteBeing alone in this is unbearable but having friends who have helped us in various ways has been helpful. Respite healthcare is patchy and not easy to find.
Packing up and giving household items to charity and returning to the states is obviously not an option, it may however be the start of new problems. I have enough of them here.
I thank you all for your comments and appreciate the time you took to comment.
I am looking at either furnished or unfurnished flats now. We don't care about our furniture, however, selling it is not that easy.
Joan is not locked in a flat on the fourth floor, it's the second floor. She is not locked in that either. In good weatheer, I have been able to slowly take her outside and spend the afternoons.
She has a medical clinic below us, shower, toilet and safe environs.. oh and of course proper healthy meals.