Wednesday, November 10, 2021

I just found out that a relative's father-in-law is also suffering from dementia.

Someone once said, “When you love someone with dementia you lose them more and more every day. When they are diagnosed, when they go through different stages, when they go into care and when they die. ‘Rapidly shrinking brain’ is how doctors describe it. As the person’s brain slowly dies, they change physically and eventually forget who their loved ones are. They can eventually (but not always) become bedridden, unable to move, and unable to eat or drink.”
There will be people who will scroll by this message because dementia has not touched them. They may not know what it's like to have a loved one who has fought or is fighting a battle against Dementia. Joan and I know.

On the brighter side, today was a beautiful sunny day and an opportunity to take Joan out of the flat for a little while. I took her for a little stroll around Wilson Park. It is named for the President Woodrow Wilson of the U.S.A. I don't know why or what he contributed to Poland to have a park named for him. It does have a palmiarnia, kind of like a large greenhouse with some very exotic plants, It is especially nice to visit in the winter because inside the temperature is very warm.

We finished off our little excursion with coffee and ciasto at Sowas.

Właśnie dowiedziałam się, że teść krewnej również cierpi na demencję. Ktoś kiedyś powiedział: "Kiedy kochasz kogoś z demencją, z każdym dniem tracisz go coraz bardziej. Kiedy jest zdiagnozowana, kiedy przechodzi przez różne etapy, kiedy trafia do opieki i kiedy umiera. Lekarze opisują to zjawisko jako 'szybko kurczący się mózg'. W miarę jak mózg osoby chorej powoli umiera, zmienia się ona fizycznie i w końcu zapomina, kim są jej bliscy. W końcu (ale nie zawsze) może zostać przykuta do łóżka, nie może się poruszać, nie może jeść ani pić." Będą ludzie, którzy pominą tę wiadomość, ponieważ demencja ich nie dotknęła. Mogą nie wiedzieć, jak to jest mieć bliską osobę, która walczyła lub walczy z demencją. Joan i ja wiemy. Z lepszych wieści, dziś był piękny słoneczny dzień i okazja, aby na chwilę zabrać Joan z mieszkania. Zabrałem ją na mały spacer po Parku Wilsona. Jest on nazwany na cześć prezydenta USA Woodrowa Wilsona. Nie wiem dlaczego i czym zasłużył się dla Polski, aby park został nazwany jego imieniem. Jest tam palmiarnia, coś w rodzaju dużej szklarni z egzotycznymi roślinami. Szczególnie miło jest odwiedzić ją zimą, ponieważ wewnątrz jest bardzo ciepło. Naszą małą wycieczkę zakończyliśmy kawą i ciastem u Sowy.

Acabo de enterarme de que el suegro de un familiar también padece demencia. Alguien dijo una vez: "Cuando amas a alguien con demencia, lo pierdes cada día más. Cuando se les diagnostica, cuando pasan por las diferentes etapas, cuando pasan a ser atendidos y cuando mueren. Los médicos describen este fenómeno como un "cerebro que se encoge rápidamente". A medida que el cerebro del enfermo va muriendo lentamente, éste cambia físicamente y acaba olvidando quiénes son sus seres queridos. Con el tiempo (pero no siempre) puede quedar postrada en la cama, sin poder moverse, comer o beber". Habrá personas que se salten este mensaje porque la demencia no les ha afectado. Puede que no sepan lo que es tener un ser querido que ha luchado o está luchando contra la demencia. Joan y yo lo sabemos. En cuanto a las mejores noticias, hoy ha sido un hermoso día soleado y una oportunidad para sacar a Joan del piso durante un rato. La llevé a dar un pequeño paseo por el Parque Wilson. Se llama así en honor al presidente estadounidense Woodrow Wilson. No sé por qué o qué hizo por Polonia para que el parque lleve su nombre. Hay una casa de palmeras, algo así como un gran invernadero con plantas exóticas. Es especialmente agradable visitarlo en invierno, porque es muy cálido por dentro. Terminamos nuestro pequeño viaje con un café y un pastel en Sowa's.

4 comments:

  1. The Fourteen Points was a statement of principles for peace that was to be used for peace negotiations in order to end World War I. The principles were outlined in a January 8, 1918 speech on war aims and peace terms to the United States Congress by President Woodrow Wilson.

    President Woodrow Wilson Fourteen Points:
    XIII. An independent Polish state

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourteen_Points

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  2. Anonymous12:29 AM

    I'm sure many others DO understand, but, unfortunately some don't know how to respon-
    though, they should already, as an 'adult' in society (so, is it just social awkwardness? Or subconscious shame, aka, skeltons in the closet" syndrome? Or the immediate family's secret shame so that they put up barriers to other's inquiries,etc.)?
    A paternal uncle was diagnosed with Alzeheimer's dementia; when I'd come back to the city where much of my famiily was, I began to hear some one-sided stories about a cousin (one child of this uncle)-- that said cousin "cut off the rest of the family, blah, blah, blah. Curious as to the other side of the story, I arranged myself to meet this cousin (after many years). Though we had a cordial enough visit, it clearly emerged that emotional walls were up, a grudge indeed was being held onto: that THEY (rest of relatives put my uncle 'out of sight, out of mind). Having been away for many years, I missed the 'politics', but, assuming this was something that could be righted, told members of my immediate family how 'ostracized' my cousin felt & the blame she created, not to mention the solid wall (they must've quickly passed the message on to the rest of the extended family & before I knew it, about a half dozen relatives went to visit my uncle (then in a 'care' facility). I wasn't there, but later saw photos of that first visit. Fortunately, my uncle was not bed-ridden (though he had lost a distinct amount of weight), was still enjoying sitting on a patio, was still smiling, and from what I concluded was still able to recognize and/or connect w.at least a few of his visitors, as they are smiling, familiar w. arms around him,; though, don't think he talked much (ironic, as he was one of the most vocal of my fathers & brothers)!

    So, what I am trying to say by sharing this, is that there can arise misunderstandings by both parties, misinterpreting and concluding about things that are simply, not true. And, though the traumatic life upset of severe dementia makes this understandable to some degree, it does need an open-ended, larger embrace on both those who are & are not "touched by it" in their lives.

    ~Ess

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