Wednesday, January 04, 2023

Goodbye, Joanna. :-(

Today was the day we said goodbye to Joanna, The church was packed with people who knew her, standing room only when I got there.

The day reflected how I felt. Gray skies for a dark day in my life. Rain at the cemetery for the tears I felt on my face. Wind for the winds of change in my life.

The church service was halfway over when I started sweating and feeling a little faint. I went outside to recover and sat down with my head down. In a few minutes, a young woman came to ask if I felt alright and I told her yes, just very sad. As the service was ending, I went to my car and drove to the cemetery in Gorczyn.

Arriving at the cemetery early, I found a parking space at the entrance and parked. I took the flowers I had bought and went to look for the future grave. I thought Joanna had told me her family plot at the back of the cemetery and walked there. There was no sign of the grave to be. I walked back to the center, going toward the information building. On the left, there was a red cabana over an open grave. Looking closer at it, I discovered it was for Joanna. Joanna W膮szewicz Rager, 1968-2022. She was only 54 years old, not 58 like I thought.

I put down the bouquet of flowers, said a prayer, and decided to go for a coffee while I waited for the chapel mass. By the time I returned, the priests were at the grave and there was such a big crowd of people that it was impossible to get close.

When the service was over, people started putting their flowers and wreaths on her grave. I waited as they passed by and finally was able to give her husband and son our condolences. I will meet with her son before he returns to university in England.

 Dzi艣 po偶egnali艣my Joann臋. Ko艣ci贸艂 by艂 pe艂en ludzi, kt贸rzy j膮 znali, a kiedy tam dotar艂em, by艂y tylko miejsca stoj膮ce.

Ten dzie艅 odzwierciedla艂 to, co czu艂em. Szare niebo dla mrocznego dnia w moim 偶yciu. Deszcz na cmentarzu - za 艂zy, kt贸re czu艂em na twarzy. Wiatr dla wiatr贸w zmian w moim 偶yciu.

Nabo偶e艅stwo by艂o w po艂owie drogi, kiedy zacz臋艂am si臋 poci膰 i poczu艂am si臋 troch臋 s艂abo. Wyszed艂em na zewn膮trz, aby doj艣膰 do siebie i usiad艂em ze spuszczon膮 g艂ow膮. Za kilka minut przysz艂a m艂oda kobieta i zapyta艂a, czy czuj臋 si臋 dobrze, a ja odpowiedzia艂am jej, 偶e tak, tylko jestem bardzo smutna. Gdy nabo偶e艅stwo dobiega艂o ko艅ca, poszed艂em do samochodu i pojecha艂em na cmentarz w Gor臋czynie.

Przyjecha艂em na cmentarz wcze艣nie, znalaz艂em miejsce przy wej艣ciu i zaparkowa艂em. Wzi膮艂em kupione kwiaty i poszed艂em szuka膰 przysz艂ego grobu. Pomy艣la艂em, 偶e Joanna powiedzia艂a mi o swojej rodzinnej dzia艂ce na ty艂ach cmentarza i poszed艂em tam. Nie by艂o 艣ladu, 偶e gr贸b ma by膰. Przeszed艂em z powrotem do centrum, id膮c w kierunku budynku informacyjnego. Po lewej stronie znajdowa艂a si臋 czerwona kabana nad otwartym grobem. Przygl膮daj膮c si臋 bli偶ej, odkry艂em, 偶e to dla Joanny. Joanna W膮szewicz Rager, 1968-2022. Mia艂a tylko 54 lata, a nie 58 jak my艣la艂am.

Od艂o偶y艂em bukiet kwiat贸w, odm贸wi艂em modlitw臋 i postanowi艂em p贸j艣膰 na kaw臋 w oczekiwaniu na msz臋 w kaplicy. Kiedy wr贸ci艂am, ksi臋偶a byli ju偶 przy grobie, a ludzi by艂o tak du偶o, 偶e nie spos贸b by艂o podej艣膰.

Kiedy msza si臋 sko艅czy艂a, ludzie zacz臋li sk艂ada膰 kwiaty i wie艅ce na jej grobie. Czeka艂em, jak przechodzili i w ko艅cu mog艂em z艂o偶y膰 jej m臋偶owi i synowi nasze kondolencje. Spotkam si臋 z jej synem, zanim wr贸ci na uniwersytet w Anglii.